midwife

I found a midwife weeks ago, but getting everything set up was rather difficult. she requires that i see her back up doctor at least 2 times, for the initial labs and exam, and again for the ultrasound. she will only take low risk cases, so, she doesn't want any surprises, and requires that i get an ultrasound. to get tricare to pay for my visits to this doctor i had to get a referral,which shouldn't have been that complicated (read 3 day process) but ended up taking 3 wks. this was the point when dh basically said this is too hard, lets just go with the hospital route (ug.)

(Don't get me wrong, i totally believe in choice in childbirth. if i woman is comfortable with machinery and wants the best OB specialist to attend her birth, thats what she should have. Although i do think women need to be informed of risks better than they are now. I want a low intervention, supportive birth in the comfort of my home, where i don't have to fight for every second i want to spend with my baby. When my 2 yo was born, for 3 days i literally had to argue with a nurse almost every time i wanted to touch her. i couldn't room in and was only allowed in the nursery limited hours to feed her. i couldn't bring my 3 yo in to see her and was given a hard time for shock! wanting to be with my child. the nurses just kept saying-oh let us take care of her, you get some rest. i didn't want to rest, i wanted to care for MY newborn.)

Anyway, I have a midwife, I have my referral, I just need to work out how to pay for her services, as it is not tricare covered. Dh is kind of against it, but hasn't "put his foot down" or any nonsense where he tells me this isn't what we are doing. so i figure i feel much more strongly about it than he does, and we get along a lot better when i don't ask his opinion. this isn't because i don't want to hear what he has to say. this is because he is so convinced that i don't want to hear from him, that he would rather argue about why i am bothering to talk to him than just talk to me. we have fought 2 distinct times about this and both times about 90% of the conversation was him saying 'you are going to do what you want anyway, why do you care what i think?' and me telling him i do want to know what he thinks, it does matter in my decision. then he won't say anything except something like, 'well its a lot of money' and then when i bring it up later he tells me i'm not listening to him. listening to him say what exactly? that he wont tell me anything, so why do i ask? grrrr.....

But i am really excited about my homebirth!