bad teeth

Okay, so my mom didn't really brush our teeth. she gave us toothbrushes from a young age and said brush your teeth. i don't know whether we even complied. i can't remember it being a big deal until i was in jr high and wanted my teeth to look good. none of us had cavities until my brother at about 8. (I was about 10.) My sister in law, gives her 4 and 6 yo the toothbrush as says 'go' (i don't know what she does with her 2 yo) neither of the 2 bigger kids have ever had any cavities. I make my kids lay down on the floor with me sitting next to them and i relentlessly brush and floss their teeth every day right after breakfast, and when i remember before bed. this is an almost 10 minute process each. today my kids went to the dentist and my 6 yo has his 3rd cavity and my 2 yo has 5. actually if you want to get technical, she has 8...because the cavities in her front teeth are in between her teeth so the middle two have 2 cavities each, then there are 2 in her baby molars. the worst worst part of this is that because the teeth are so small and the cavities extensive, they can't just be filled. the dentist is recommending pulling her front four teeth. she said they can be capped if we would rather (we would!) with tooth colored caps, but they wont be her teeth, and its going to cost us about $100,000. just an estimate. part of the problem is that both kids teeth are already jam packed into their mouths (baby teeth, remember, they are supposed to be small!) which makes it harder to keep them clean. and part of the problem is that my flossing routine with my 2 yo only started about 3 wks ago, when i noticed the cavities. but seriously, how many people do you know what regularly floss a 2 yos teeth?! its not easy. or fun. for anyone. i look forward to the time when the kids can take care of their own teeth, but the hygenist says they dont have the fine motor skills to do a good job until about 8, and my kids teeth can't just be brushed quickly and stay healthy apparently....because they don't stay healthy even with a lot of attention. this is very discouraging....