feeling down

I have been feeling under the weather lately. i don't feel any particular symptoms of illness except that i seem to get a headache daily, after being awake for about an hour. possible its sinuses, or maybe its a toothache that spreads to my head. (cant get dental work done now) the kids have been exceptionally cranky and most days i cant seem to get through the daily schoolwork with my son. you'd think that 2-3 hours a day would be attainable, but it seems like we can only get through spelling and math and sometimes history. we haven't done science in a week and his reading time is falling off, although i still read to him a lot. i figure that i can read to him as an assigned reading for books that are at or above his level, but he still needs to read every day for at least 20-30 minutes, something that he chooses. i am starting to wish that i had drawn out daily schedules before the school year started. i figured it would be so easy to play it by ear. for example, we are using abeka math, which is very easy, we are on schedule to finish it by february, assuming that we take no more than 4 weeks off with christmas and the birth of the baby. so every day i try to get through 2 lessons, choosing which review exercises to do (thats about 90 percent of the work in abeka, unfortunately) and i figure if i have a particularly cranky child i can do less and if he is excited about the coloring or whatever we can do more...but i am finding for the last 2 weeks that i always have a cranky child...

The hardest part is that its probably my fault. its probably my general crankiness/fatigue that is being mirrored back at me. and i am probably not making school fun enough, which is why he doesn't want to do it. i am starting to feel like it is a burden, rather than a blessing, and he heartily agrees. its probably my attitude that needs some help. Lately my kids dont seem to have fun at even fun events. we spent all day saturday at a pumpkin patch with pony rides, pig races, food, pumpkin shooting cannons, pirate mazes, etc...connor spent almost the entire day whining. i was so exhausted at the end of the day we left without ever going out to the actual patch to pick a pumpkin. i have to get mine at the commissary now.

And to top it off (unrelated, but now i really feel like whining) I'm pretty sure the baby has moved from being head down to being transverse and posterior. all i feel is little feet or hands at about my belly button, with nothing above it. all i need right now is to feel stressed out that instead of my first homebirth and 2nd vbac i get to have another c sec and the accompanying recovery time.

32 weeks...about 8 to go